Honoring the Voices of Our Older Loved Ones During Passover Traditions

Passover is a cherished holiday for many families. While certain Passover traditions, such as the four questions asked by the youngest person at the Seder, are centered around younger generations, older adults also have an invaluable role to play in the holiday.  

Older loved ones often want to participate in holiday festivities. Despite this, they sometimes find themselves in a more passive role, whether that’s due to assumptions made by others, mobility issues, hearing loss, or cognitive challenges. By actively seeking out ways to involve them in traditions, celebrations can be more meaningful for everyone. 

The power of storytelling 

For many older people, I have observed that the meaning behind Passover can shift from a focus on food to a deeper reflection on the significance of the story of the exodus. It becomes about finding meaning in that ancient narrative and connecting it to our journeys and lives.  

As a chaplain and the manager of religious and spiritual care services at Hebrew Rehabilitation Center on the campus of NewBridge on the Charles in Dedham, MA, I have witnessed how this story resonates with our Jewish and non-Jewish patients and residents. Regardless of cultural and religious affiliation, many people can relate to the powerful story of freedom and see their own life within its narrative. Sometimes, that’s through their immigration, involvement in the Civil Rights Movement, or other personal stories and experiences.

Offering opportunities for storytelling during Passover Seders can be a meaningful way to learn more about our older patients’ and residents’ lived experiences. For example, asking a resident about the traditional gefilte fish served at Passover can lead me to learn how they made the dish with their mother as a child and how they celebrated the Seder at their childhood home. They often value sharing these stories, and I value hearing them.

I like to pause and ask questions during Passover Seder services to encourage storytelling. That’s something you can do at home, too! Consider asking questions such as, “How do you think it felt to leave Egypt?” or “What does it mean to move to a country that values freedom?” or “What were your favorite Passover traditions growing up?” These questions can lead to engaging discussions that lead to deeper connections between you and your loved ones.

If you celebrate other holidays deeply rooted in tradition, you can similarly ask questions. For example, Easter, Ramadan, and secular holidays like Thanksgiving emphasize tradition and gathering. They can be great opportunities to learn more about the older adults in your life. 

Including older loved ones in holiday traditions 

In the spiritual care department at Hebrew SeniorLife, we’ve worked to create Passover Seders in all of our communities that fit the needs of our residents and patients. At home, you can do the same thing! Here are a few tips for honoring and including older loved ones in Passover traditions: 

Consider practical holiday adaptations for comfort 

At Hebrew SeniorLife, we often condense the Haggadah recited at Seder to focus on the core elements of the story, removing details that aren’t essential. That shortens the time it takes to recite and makes the Seder more comfortable for some of our residents and patients to participate in. We also provide large-print versions of the Haggadah to ensure that everyone can follow along more easily. You can make similar modifications if your loved one doesn’t live in a senior living community.

Also, consider your physical environment. If the chairs in your house aren’t very comfortable, you can pad them with cushions or pillows for additional support. If the older adult in your life experiences chronic pain or discomfort, encourage them to bring anything they need to the table, such as a heating pad.  

You can also take steps to give them a meaningful role in celebrations. If they can still cook, invite them to prepare a signature dish! If not, consider preparing one of their signature dishes for the table in their honor. You can also ask them to share their personal history or lead important prayers or blessings, allowing them to take an active role in celebrations. 

Engage the senses to spark memories 

Singing traditional songs during Passover services is a great way to engage the senses, connect with core memories, and promote storytelling. By keeping these songs in our services at Hebrew Rehabilitation Center, they remain active and lively. Music is also a powerful way to connect with those who have cognitive decline. Using the senses activates different regions of the brain in people with dementia, helping them access memories that they otherwise might not recall very easily.

That connection is true for other senses as well. The familiar taste of traditional foods like gefilte fish and horseradish may also bring back memories for someone with dementia. Part of the beauty of holidays like Passover is these deep-rooted traditions, which can create inspiring moments of recollection. 

Encourage multigenerational bonding 

You can also encourage older adults to share their stories with the youngest generations, offering intergenerational bonding and storytelling opportunities. Grandchildren can also be encouraged to ask questions about past Seders, helping to bridge generations.

Turn to older people, whether grandparents, older aunts and uncles, or friends and elevate them to a seat of wisdom! Passover provides a special opportunity for such intergenerational bonding through shared traditions.

Creating meaningful Passover traditions for all ages 

Ultimately, making small adjustments to your Passover traditions to ensure your older loved ones feel comfortable, honored, and loved can enrich the experience for your entire family. Even if you don’t celebrate Passover, these tips may prove helpful in including an older adult in your life during holiday traditions.

Chag Pesach Sameach from all of us at Hebrew SeniorLife to you and your family!

Hebrew SeniorLife offers spiritual support for all faiths 

At Hebrew SeniorLife, our spiritual care team serves patients and residents of all traditions and backgrounds. In Hebrew SeniorLife’s chronic care hospitals, senior living communities, and through our in-home care services, interfaith chaplains work as members of an interdisciplinary team to provide spiritual care and facilitate reflection and spiritual growth. Whether you’re experiencing challenges or transitions in life and need some support or are celebrating life’s joys, we’re here by your side.

Interested in learning more about what we have to offer? Find a community or service today.

Join Our Community: Subscribe to the Hebrew SeniorLife blog for weekly insights on healthy aging and senior living.